R E F L E C T – 2018

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV)

Second week into the New Year and I have been enjoying reading and hearing of other people’s reflections of their 2018 year. Marriages, babies, new businesses, #MoreLIFE… I enjoy living vicariously through others and it’s always a nice reminder that with their happiness means happiness is in the neighborhood! Because ya’ll, happiness wasn’t always the case for me in 2018. 2018 was a growing year where naturally, the changing conditions, stretching, and development was pretty painful but mostly just uncomfortable.

Five minutes into our last session of the year, my therapist (oh yea, I’m in counseling now – we’ll get into that another day) asked me to draw a picture in my head of what my future looked like. After a few seconds of desperately trying to force a picture into my mind, I gave up… “I can’t see it.” He told me to try again and I, very adamantly proclaimed that I. COULD. NOT. SEE. IT.Read More »

One year later… Ten things my Lupus diagnosis has taught me.

“…you know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; you know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something…” (Psalm 139:15 MSG)

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Exactly one year ago today, I was diagnosed with Lupus. Happy Anniversary! Yes, I have decided to celebrate it. Not because I believe this is a super exciting thing to celebrate – I mean come on, “I’d like to be diagnosed with a chronic illness.” – said no one ever. But I HAVE decided to celebrate the fact that one year later, I am still standing, much stronger than I’d anticipated, with a fire in my belly and determined to live, not just exist but to thrive. So, cheers to one year of thriving with Lupus! To commemorate one-year-down, I’d like to share a few things I’ve learned so far on this journey…Read More »

Her trash. My treasure.

“My love, I love you with every fiber in my being.” – Anonymous sixteen-year-old

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I was gathering the trash in my house like I normally do on a Sunday night, getting it ready for trash day the next morning, when I accidently dropped the garbage basket and a series of wrinkled up post-it notes fell out. Amongst the pile was a note that read, “My love, I love you with every fiber in my being,” signed by my sixteen-year-old cousin. I’m almost certain she would choose to ignore me for the next several years if she knew I found it lol I almost instantly took a picture of it to text it to her, along with that snickering monkey emoji but then I thought against it, didn’t wanna embarrass the kid, you know. Nevertheless, it was the cutest message I’ve seen in a while and sent me down an almost endless stream of googly eyed thoughts… Who was it for? Does she have a boyfriend? What does he look like? OR… perhaps there’s no teenaged boy on the receiving end of her post-it thought. Perhaps she was writing notes to herself like I do (stop judging me lol). You know, like a little reminder to herself that she is loved.

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Because eventually, it will all get done.

“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” – Lao Tzu

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Once upon a time, I convinced myself that I was superwoman. Seriously… What an idiot. LOL. This is probably why I spent so much of my time doing EVERY SINGLE THING I could think of doing. A little piece of me figured that if I kept busy, I could prove to myself that I could accomplish everything I decided I wanted to accomplish. See, I had vision and goals and I knew God gave me a purpose. He showed me some things. Like things I would do, places I would go, people I could meet and be inspired by. And this is all great right? Sure… But for some reason, I told myself that I had to do it all and I had to do it all quickly. Why? Who the heck knows. But I was doing it. Until I was doing none of it.Read More »